You can stop now. Stop the striving. Stop the planning. Stop the strategizing and the squeezing things in. You can say no. You don't have to prove you're strong and reliable, not even to yourself. Can I tell you a really scary truth? You aren't strong and reliable. I know it's scary to face that, but you are flawed, fallible, and limited. That's your identity. The sweet news of it is that you've been adopted and given a new name, you've been taken under the wings of the strongest, most loving, thoughtful, creative, protective, and unlimited Father.
So you can stop now. You can sit in your brokenness. You don't have to earn anything or prove anything about who you are or what you can do. There's nothing left to earn because you've already been given it all. You are infinitely loved, it would literally be impossible to earn any more love because you've got it all. You are protected and restored, so you don't have to pretend (even if that pretending is mainly to yourself) that you are the strong one. Your Father is the strong one. He is completely holy and perfect, and He knows you aren't and accepts you perfectly. You don't have to be secure in who you are, you have security in who He is and he doesn't hold you to your own ridiculous standards. You'll be safe when you throw yourself into His identity, His character, His grace and you let go of the expectations you had for yourself.
You can be free. You can dwell in grace, you have to--because that's all you've got. You are broken and messy, and you have always been this way even if you didn't let yourself believe it. But the best truth is that because of His grace you are made whole and restored. You can leave your standards and expectations behind you, you're free. Don't forget it.