I can’t deny that with a deep sense of satisfaction and some relief, there also lingers a guttural melancholy. There’s a particular sense of sadness when a goodbye is permanent which throbs in my stomach when I sit still. An overarching sense that says, “This is right. It’s time to move forward.” reverberates through my bones, and yet….Read More
I wish someone had told me that not only is it impossible to be the “everything” woman, but it’s boring. The best thing, the very best thing about growing into new seasons is that YOU get to experience it. You get to see what YOU are like as a career woman, what YOU are like as wife, what YOU are like as a mom.
One of the most giant realizations I’ve had and embraced about myself lately is that I’m a salty mom. That’s who I am.Read More
You are here. Right now.
If I’m being really truly honest, here isn't a place I'm enjoying…and I know it’s kind of icky to read a mom say that…it’s icky to be the mom who feels it. Oh wouldn’t I love to be floating on cloud of motherly contentment with this season! But this season of motherhood is just hard and so tiring. Wouldn’t it be delightful if enchantment for every single season of life just naturally swelled in us and flowed out of us? Instead, I’ve been fighting, sometimes spitting mad, against this season and I’m exhausted…so I’m done. I’m done fighting it. I’m here. Here is where I am right now, today.
Accepting this basic condition of my reality means admitting an ugly truth to myself and even more so to the Giver of Life. Facing the nasty brass tacks of my sinfulness, yet again, I found mercy and grace on the other side. And that brings me here, to all of you, because I have this little inkling that maybe…just maybe I’m not the only one digging my heels in and demanding to be somewhere else past or future but this present place just isn’t my cup of tea.Read More
“Please. Just don’t give up on Jesus” the Mennonite minister begged through tears after his son confided in him that he was gay. That was the father’s biggest concern: don’t give up on Jesus. Those words reverberated through my mind and my heart for weeks. No matter what changes, what is lost, what is found: please don’t give up on Jesus.Read More
When You Need To Remember LossRead More
I catch myself in these terribly cliche moments of momstering on the drive to church and I hate it. So this year, with the onset of varying school drop off schedules, pick up lines for dayzzz, bible study mornings, MOPS, and my part time job, I couldn't continue in my frantic ways. Something had to change, so I've taken up a new spiritual practice.Read More
The week leading up to my 30th birthday was turbulent. I tried to process as I went through the week, but my process ended up being much more of a stagger through potholes of fear and over molehills of hope than the gradual and steady churning and muling I’d been wishing for.Read More
There’s a buzz word going around, especially for women. I think it’s supposed to be motivating and exciting but it’s having the opposite affect on me. It’s kind of killing me, actually.Read More
When what has been, becomes past
When what was awaited, arrives
When the heart is set free to linger and love and hold on
When the waiting and the work bear Hope's seedlings
When Future has leeway to grow wildly and without restraint
And when Rest dwells and decants and generously satisfies
Then, you're homeRead More
I finally understand why every mom is being all sappy and sentimental and squeezing her kids extra tight this time of year, whether they are graduating preschool (which I mean, I still don’t believe that’s a real thing, wouldn’t promoting out of preschool be better verbiage?) or graduating from high school. There’s this desire to “Stop This Train,” and I honestly did not see all these emotions coming, but man are they are coming in strong.Read More