Dude. Sometimes depth is just too far out of reach...I just can’t even….we’ve been out of coffee for two days and I can’t muster a contemplative vibe if my life depended on it. So forget it, byyyyeee introspection and reflection. Today it’s just real talk and EDM music turned up way too loud in my ear buds. (Yea that’s right….moms can synth out too. Come at me!)
You know what I’ve been wanting to say for a long time but I haven’t cause I’m like “Oh no, what if that comes out wrong? What if I seem like a know it all or a snob?” Welp, the two day coffee draught has me here, so if you don’t know me, please go read something beautiful and deep and insightful somewhere else on my blog. I promise, I’m deep and mature and thoughtful...sometimes.
But NOT today my friend, not today.
Today we shall talk about the vicious thing that I’m starting a revolt against: "crushing it." No one: No. One. is crushing it at life. I know, I know it seems like that family that gets paid to travel on instagram, or the mom that’s two stages ahead of you and actually gets to have clean hair and wear enormous earrings, or the married couple that has five small businesses and two perfectly styled children and one gorgeously renovated and decorated house seem like they are crushing it for sure. But guess what? Their poop still smells. They still have their moments. They eat way too much on the weekends and have to unbutton their pants under the table just like us regular folk.
You want to know how I know? Because at various times in my life, someone in a different season has treated me like I’m crushing it. Admittedly, I’m sitting here in a cool local coffee shop, without my kids, chasing my dreams and being creative. Then this summer we’ll take a couple trips and post a few pics that make us look so cool, like our kids travel well and cherish all these #nofilter memories.
Now ask me if we feel like we’re crushing it.
Most nights we plop down on the couch and whine about how hard it is being a parent, and which muscles are achy and watch reruns of our favorite sitcom that’s we’ve seen at least four times. And I rattle off the never ending list of house stuff "I just really want and would make all the difference," and my husband begs me to stop. There is zero sense of any “arrival” or mastery in our parenting skills. And yet, yet somehow mommas with younger kids occasionally ask me for advice.
Wait--what? Am I the Susan, the Pam C., the Becky, the Sylvia now? No, never those women are stinking amazing and have so many answers and wisdom and will always be superheroes to me...but do I have a foot in the door of that space now? Having some answers and some past experiences to draw from, having that calm “Don’t worry you aren’t going to wreck your baby’s life if they don’t [Insert Some-RIDICULOUS-Fad-In-Child-Rearing].”
I’ve seen a few stages of life come and go, and we’re still here...so I think by default that has somehow put me in a place to offer what I can to the women coming up behind me. So weird, such an honor, but so weird too.
Being a few stages into this marriage and parenting world, some could think I am crushing it. Some may think that us moms with the makeup on and the two-day (versus five-day) hair and the full nights of sleep, have it “figured out.” Well, buckle up cause I’m going to tell you our secret.
Ready? Lean in.
We just make this stuff up as we go.
Trial by fire is the wizard behind the curtain.
I still ask every woman I respect for their secrets and then sheepishly ask if I'm doing a satisfactory job of all this grown up stuff. And usually they laugh and refer me to the above secret and then they tell me about their failures and successes and assure me that they felt the same way once.
As you mindlessly scroll through Instagram at the soccer game this morning, or spot a woman who always looks so posh at the coffee shop, or run into that cute couple on their weekly date night, just remember: At the right distance, from the right angle...anyone can look like they are crushing it. But in reality we’re all just doing what we can and praying that God redeems the rest.
And you know what? That's crushing it. Being humble and asking for help and being brave enough to grow where you are planted.